Friends

I have found, for whatever reason, that I really do not like people. Because of this I have had the same 5 friends for over 10 years now. I believe in quality, not quantity especially when it comes to friends and people I choose to share my life with. The problem now is that we are literally spread from one end of this country to the other. My very best friend is in Washington state and recently married. I've got one 2 in different coast of FL, one in TX, and one in NC. I find it difficut to meet new people, as I am typically a reserved person. I have been told that I come off as snotty, and even (pardon my mouth) as a cold bitch. It is not intentional, and maybe I am a bitch. It is what it is. I'm up and down - if you catch me on a good day it could be possible that we'll become friends. If you catch me on a bad day - its probably best that you don't even talk to me. I usually say things I regret come the next day. Many people have told me (family included) that I have an attitude problem. I like to think of it as a problem with people who are stupid and incompetent. 6 of one, half a dozen of the other, right? So back to the real problem :) I miss having my friends with me. The ones that know me best and still love me (attitude and all). I am hoping that soon we will all be able to get together!

I wonder, wonder, wonder.....

Who wrote the book of love? When were young (and dumb) we often have this picture of how love is supposed to be. It's perfect - the person you are with knows you better than you know yourself, you're always happy and there are NEVER any problems. Now, ENTER REALITY. Here comes bills, kids, responsiblity, work and school. How's that picture looking now - getting a little fuzzy yet? Looking back on how things were, how you want them to be and how they are makes you realize exactly how different each view is. This is how I think of those moments, that make you think that everything is perfect..... You're standing on a crossroad - you see two roads - the road you were supposed to take, and the one you've chosen. Those perfect moments, in my mind at least, are when those two paths meet. When your exactly where you're supposed to be, at the exact moment you're supposed to be there, with the exact person/people you're supposed to be with. So now, as I sit here sad and pissed off and my bf is in the garage pissed off and beating a motor into submission, I'm going to just relax and wait it out hoping that soon we come to some sort of impasse without saying things that neither will ever forget.

Crazy is as crazy does......

Sometimes I really wonder why I do the things I do. Do other people's mind really function like mine? I certainly hope not, if they do, I offer my condolences. My thought process is so backwards most of the time I feel like i'm running in reverse. I try my hardest to put everything in order, in a way in which it will make things easier on me and the people around me. The best laid plans...... My mother (who has 6 children) has told me numerous times that I need to plan ahead and this will make my life easier. Easier said than done for me. Two things I have learned that well is that Murphy's law seems to apply only to me and I should expect the unexpected. These things seem to be a constant in my life. But on the bright side, my life is never really boring and my mind is always expanding thinking of new ways in which to deal with the situation.

Late is better than never?????

Once again life has put an obstacle in my way in which i am forced to run as fast as I can and throw myself over! This should be something I'm used to though. Having some financial issues which are unfortunately causing family issues. Hoping all will be resolved soon. Not sure what I'm doing anymore these days - my main thoughts being on survival.